when it begins to disintegrate, this powerful and large part of life would unevenly and slowly grow flames of hatred in the heart. and numerous times, i regret being too understanding and loving with the last words given to you, but from stubbornness, i want to continue to show face and ignore the feelings i wanted to actually lay out. And those babies are not so kind. so, i refrained. i was fooled and was embarrassingly foolish.
But, oh well. When flames grow, it only gets fun and reckless to make time pass faster.
i’m running out of chipotle napkins to blow my nose in..
I HAVE DOG FEVAAA
I’ve been traveling my ass off to reach each of my homes and I already miss home base. Weak body. weak mind from this ridiculous illness. fighting myself to keep walking while the mucus in my throat is trying to climb out BUT it decides to stay in put. bastards. naked and in bed with sweat. just me and you pandora. just for these calm seconds.. you and me.
Headed to Austin. A. drove. R, M & J. Stuffed my headphones in for my classical music and took a snooze. At times, the thick clouds would give some escape for the sun to peek out. When it did, it woke me up slightly and the sun would touch my whole body. Gave me seconds of sweet warmth. Hmm mhmm. Can I feel that happy for a long while?
I was sitting on my bed, with my mom sleeping by my side, and munching on left-over Cafe Max on my lap while watching my old DVDs and in Maid of Honor, it viewed a glimpse of a Chinese restaurant on the street I lived on when I first moved to NY. For a second, I felt like I haven’t moved my life elsewhere and changed almost everything. Then again, the other seconds came by and I snapped back. I’m home visiting and never have I ever realize I love home more than the extraordinary changes, but still crazy happy it’s happening. Nonetheless, I have comfort, fond memories and simplicity that I have here at my home.
I see the holiday spirit building up! Snowflake lights and Christmas bears on window display. Here it comes!